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Haole Hubbys
Hey, we have to be fair and give the happy
Haole Hubby's a chance to have their say about what it's like to be in the
club. Men, here's your chance!
Got a funny story about your Asian wife?
Click to submit your story.
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Chris' list of possible cross-cultural flash-points to
watch out for (and 'neva-fail' resolutions):
1) Problem: Innocently plant single small bamboo plant
in your 50 x 25 foot back yard, without making sure roots are fully
contained!
Resolution: Spend rest of life arduously battling the spread of the new
bamboo forest that at latest count fills 6 acres of space.
2) Problem: Install Zen (Ch'an) sand garden in back
yard too close to neighbor's overhanging maple trees.
Resolution: Hire professional Japanese horticulturalist to keep it swept
clear of the tons of leafy effluent it is buried under, each Fall.
3) Problem: Try valiantly to comply with dictum that
mandates all baths take place just before bedtime, not in the early AM.
Resolution: Learn to live with nocturnal cold showers (deal bravely with
fact there's only enough hot water in the heater to provide her with a hot
bath).
4) Problem: Grasp importance of sharing regular
traditional wintertime ordeal of the 'Hot Pot' family dinner.
Resolution: Accept fact that you are doomed to starve, as the
relatives all outmaneuver you for the simmering goodies you placed in the
pot to cook.
5) Problem: Face fact that life in Hawaii includes the
occasional patter of tiny Gecko feet across one's face in deepest nighttime.
Resolution: Become tropical herpetologist and LOVE it (also perhaps start
professional cockroach racing stable...).
6) Problem: Accept fact that no
matter how often you bathe, you'll always just 'one stinky haole'.
Resolution: Buy large chunk of common stock in 'Irish Spring' soap (and use
liberal amounts as daily skin-lotion).
7) Problem: Resist urge to use
wife's old retired classic Duke Kahanamoku pop-out longboard as handy work
table in garage.
Resolution: Let her perch her dirty clothes hamper on your classic Porsche
356D's fender occasionally (NOT!...shudder!).
8) Problem: Embrace fact that there are more
cross-cultural flashpoints lurking everywhere, as married life continues.
Resolution: Lighten up, brah, an make wid one kine goofy grin....bumbye
everyting mo bettah!
~ Chris Carey, Sacramento, CA |
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